Being an Adult Is Fun (For The First Two Weeks)

Today I went to the grocery store. I know. YOU don’t think it’s exciting. Well, apparently YOU haven’t been grocery shopping with me. I had two hundred dollars to spend and about half of that was for dinner stuff, like healthy cheeses and fancy vegetables and stuff, so the other 100 went to stuff me and Sister have to survive on. It was kind of fun: I felt all authoritative and old, like ‘I can drive now! So now I can buy things that I actually like to eat but at the same time make responsible choices!’, which turned out to be Target-brand ‘Marshmallow Treasures’, chocolate milk, and Liquid Happiness. I bought yogurt, too, which has fruit so technically it’s healthy. We added up everything’s price so we didn’t over spend, and I felt like a college student/AWESOME. We even had enough money to go to Portillo’s after this was done, so it was really convenient/DOUBLY AWESOME. On the way there, however, I realized I was missing my phone and the last place I’d put it was on the Target checkout counter, so my awesome-osity was diminished by like 500 points. I sprinted back there, went to the Community Service desk thing or whatever it’s called, and saw a woman there trying to call my contacts list, which out of all seven people I had on it, probably none of them would be helpful. Anyway, I found my phone and enacted my Hero-Run back to my car, with dramatic music and everything, and me and Sister went to go gorge ourselves on our success.



FAIL MOMENT OF THE DAY: I left my phone in Target, the panic making me forget about groceries, which were left in the car for about 40 minutes while Sister and I had lunch, then I forgot that it was boiling and that Philip acts as a greenhouse-gas-inspired Fiery Pit of Hell for milk products, so when I poured a huge glass of chocolate milk later that day, I realized it was bad only after I’d drank it. Fail. This later was almost topped by my sister reasoning that since ONE egg broke in our new egg carton, all the eggs must be bad and therefore should be thrown out. I think Hitler used similar reasoning.