You can’t take A State Seriously that’s Shaped Like A Turtle and Has A City Named ‘Man Asses’

In Super-Concentrated History-R-Us (Take one packet per day and just add water for four weeks of history fun!) we learned about a Civil War Battle. It took place in a city called Manassas. MANASSAS?! What the hell kind of sorry name is that?! I mean, I know it’s probably named after some esteemed serious general or something, but honestly, Virginia can’t suffer any more wrongdoings. It’s already shaped like a turtle. A name that sounds like ‘Man Asses’ doesn’t improve that. Not when you’re trying to study history, and you read a sentence as ‘The soldiers fought to gain control of Man Asses.” WTF? Am I the only one who sees it like this??

To celebrate my learning, I made a song when I was studying, complete with Sister snapping along. This is pretty much how it went as I made it up.

Oh, I’m going to school to go to my classes,
I’m driving along in my fake cheap sunglasses,
All to learn about the city Manassas,
in the poor little state of Virginia.
Now some other cities have names that aren’t cool,
but when it’s summer and sunny and you’re stuck in school,
you’re easily amused and you look like a fool
when you shout in your class
how the city’s ‘Man Ass’
is just a name that’s utterly cruel.
Oh, I’m driving along to go to my classes
and I prolly will be the one kid who don’t passes
And before I get taken away by the masses
of people who don’t like the city Man Asses!!!

**bows**

Thank you.