Vegetarianism Was Always Just A Twinkle In My Mommy's Eyes

I admit it. I am the worst vegetarian. But whenever my (admittedly weak) motives come up for being one, I fight for that cause, dammit, I fight for it like an Amazon on crack. I don’t really know why, maybe it’s because I’m stubborn, maybe it’s because it’s just the way I’ve been, but there are just some things, like powdered chicken fat, that you have to take a stand against.

My family has the strangest fights. In a house of two daughters and a mom, there’s way too much femininity around there that every so often my mom has to channel her General-Shang manfight side (and by that, I mean, use unnecessary force and make her voice all low and scary). One such incident occurred after we’d made pancakes and Sister darling looked in the fridge and, by golly, there was no syrup. At first I hoped it would just blow over.

But it didn’t.











After this went on for a while, my mommy decided to take things into her own hands.

Literally.





Another favourite of mine was when a friend of mine didn’t get an award, but mommy thought she had, and when explained to that it wasn’t actually an award, mommy got all mad at me and thought I was insulting her intelligence and that I should go find a shower out on the street, since that was where I would soon be living.

Yes, there have been some interesting squabbles in our house.

So when the vegetarian one came up again, (it is tried and true, sadly), I was prepared. Well, not really. It was pretty much my problem. There was this small matter of dried chicken fat and I was all like, I’m not really gonna eat that sorry…**awkward pause** and BLAM mommy’s Tolerance Wall just exploded. I can’t blame her. I am really annoying when I believe in something, even when it’s obviously a lie. I have been that way since birth.

















So even though there’s really no excuse for ANYONE to follow anyone else around, chanting various types of meat and threatening to buy slabs of it, I can sort of see her reasoning.