We sat in silence driving, while my stomach grumbled pathetically, until we got there. It was a small building on the outside, brick, with tall windows. Strangely, in my head, I’d pictured it to be taller, with more bluish stone, and with castle turrets and a drawbridge and cartoon men pouring boiling oil over the sides and throwing stuff. But it wasn’t. The decorators must have been really creative because they chose this colour tan that was too light to be poop-coloured and too pale to be puke-coloured, so it was more like a kind of waffly, watered-down cousin of the two mixed together.
When we got there, we experienced the top picks of the Lake Forest Punks, who all sat in silence waiting to mob the courtroom. There were two guys leaning against the wall talking, a girl in blue tights, and some random adults, including an old man in a plaid newsboy hat. I listened in on the boys’ conversation because at least it was more interesting than the job of the women who checked the bags of the people coming in (they looked like they were having the time of their life. But, they did get to wear bow ties, so I mean, how bad could it be?). And it was like this:
I had fallen in with a crowd of the most baddest of the asses.
When it was time to get in, I was pretty much scared out of my mind. I was grateful for the clerk lady because she reminded me of Garcia from Criminal Minds, but that was about it. There were like eight benches and I followed my mommy to one, because the big bad crowd of Lake Forest Punks scared me. It was like we were being silently judged as we moved through the crowd. We passed up Badass Young Guys With Multiple Tickets to sit by Silent Asian Man in Penny Loafers. Then when they called my name IT WAS TIME TO FACE THE JUDGE BWA DAAAAAA DUMMMM
(But it really wasn’t that bad and I am saying this because one day the remnants of this blog, old and cold like the bottom of a cup of coffee, will wash up on the Everlasting Shores of the Internet and at the foot of my job and, much like a cup of old coffee, I’m going to have to own up to it.)
Basically, it was all like ‘YOUUUUUU’VE DONNE A BAAAD THIINNNNG YOOOUNNG WHOOMANNN YOOOOOOU BEETTERRRR WATCHHH YOOOOO BACKKKK CUZZZ IMMA GETTTCHAAAA AGAIIINNNNNNN AND IFFF I DONNT GETCHAAA THEN LAW JESUS WILL TAKE YOUR SOULLLLL’ in an echoey old 70s-movie-esque- special -effects laden bad Halloween movie with absolutely no pity or humour anywhere in that crowd. It makes me not want to be a lawyer, even thought I went through this phase which was all ‘I’m gonna be the best damn lawyer OUT THERE and bring MAGIC and HUMAN EMPATHY to EVERY COURTROOM EVERYWHERE dammit’, which was heavily inspired by Legally Blonde (but with PIZAZZ. PIZAZZ like tap-dancing and mashed potatoes with cheese and herbs and stuff.)
Basically, I learned my lesson from the time I got pulled over (by a man who looked like a cross between Javert and Charlie from Fringe) and there was no need to go through all that utter seriousness (which I am still not done with. I still get to go to Traffic School, so Lake Forest Punks: The Sequel is in order!) just to scare me more. I even tried to look sooper innocent today (I found a butterfly clip from third grade!) but apparently even sixteen year olds are supposed to know to call the judge ‘ma’m’ and stuff. HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT
I MEAN IT’S NOT LIKE IT’S COMMON SENSE OR ANYTHING
But yeah. It was fun, but, no thanks to doing it again.
(this did not happen in real life. only in katie’s dreams)
Also, this didn’t have as many pictures as I’d like, so here’s some.
Macbeth’s Origins
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