I started off thinking nothing was wrong in math class, minding my own business and writing down the homework when HOLY OLD PEOPLE VISION BATMAN the middle of my eyes suddenly went blank. I mean, I could see, but things I was focusing on, like a word or a page or a face, would just not be there. It didn’t bode well for me trying to pay attention when half of my math teacher’s face just disappeared. Of course, it being early, I tried to rationalize, and had fun looking at the clock and not seeing it and pretending I could bend the power of time.
Walking through the halls was a treat. No one had faces. It was like a trippy-ass music video.
But by the time I got to second period, I was seriously getting freaked out. I sat down in my class and all of a sudden not only did I have the blind spot in the middle of my eye, but also my right peripheral vision just…disappeared. I spent a large quantity of the class looking nervously behind me to see if I was disappearing into the Matrix or if Jesus was going to come out of the smoke and chant religious stuff at me. So that was fun for a while. Soon my right peripheral vision had just totally gone to shit and it was happening on the left, too. So I couldn’t see my class and the blind spot was getting worse and I think people may have been laughing at me because I was really tearing up and getting really hysterical, and I think I stood up and gave everyone (that I could see out of my tunnel vision) a thumbs up and sort of waddled over to Mr. Douglass, who asked me if I was okay BUT HE DIDN’T HAVE A HEAD BECAUSE MY TOP VISION WAS GETTING ALL WIGGLY AND MAKING STUFF GO AWAY. WHAT. THE FUCK.
So after that minor problem, I sat through an excruciating Spanish class, wondering if I was going to die and if my eyes were clouded over and then secretly wondering if I could wear a pirate patch the rest of my life and whether or not I could see dead people in the next phase when it just got so bad that I admitted defeat and went to the nurse’s. I was shaky, hysterical, over-tired and trying to keep calm, just in case this was like my trial for becoming like one of the X-Men or something, and when I showed up at the nurse I looked like this:
What’s the moral of the story, you ask? Well, kiddies, I Wikipedia’d migraines through and through, and apparently when you don’t eat, don’t sleep, spend too long staring at computer screens, and are emotionally stressed, your vision craps out on you and leaves you for a more stable lifestyle!! Who would’ve thought? Now I feel like an official old person, and am fully not looking forward to returning to my first couple classes on Tuesday.
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