Recipe Of The Day--- On Helpful Profit-Making Adulthood Stuff

So. Adulthood. That's that thing that people talk about a lot, right? I hear it in an increasing amount these days. And jobs...those too. If I could have a job sitting on a magic cloud telling people how to build sets whose ideas came from a magic floaty scroll that came down from the sky and landed in my hand with a little tap-dance, then, by God, I would. Unfortunately that's not how life works, so I should really zero down on one thing I can do and perfect it. Until then, I think I'll just scribble drawings and write words until they spontaneously morph into something that I could make a job out of.





It seems like a lot of other blog writers make their living on the four main types of blogs: The Kid Blog (The Smith Family's Adventures: Zoe and Jack, the Wonder Twins!) the Food Blog (A bunch of recipes), the Typical Blog (Random Ramblings from A Crazy Life---Just Some Random Ideas and Thoughts) and the Quaint Creative Artist Blog (Awww...scrapbook/picture frame/photography/pet photography/paintings/poetry/COMEBUYTHIS). Most of them are genuinely helpful and promotive (word?) for people's projects.

Therefore, I'm gonna do just that. I'm gonna make this the BEST MOST HELPFUL MOST INTERESTING DAMN BLOG POST IN HISTORY. Print this, stick it to your forehead, and use it to win life.

1. COOKING

Cooking is something that's useful AND fun, if you know how to do it. Unfortunately, the only things I can make are guacamole, toffee, and potato salad. However, all three are delicious, so if you combine them, they MUST be fabulous.

GUACATOFFAMOLE SALAD


You'll need:

3 avocados
2 sticks of butter
1/3 cup sugar
1 onion
12 golden potatoes
2 tomatoes
garlic powder
Tabasco sauce
2 teaspoons paprika
1 cup mayo
2 cups ranch
2 bags chocolate chips (1 for snacking out of while making dish)
onion powder
garlic
3 hardboiled eggs
3 normal eggs
more butter
bowl, for mashing
pot, for boiling
cookie sheet
cilantro/almonds/paprika for garnish


1. Boil potatoes, eggs and butter in pan. If we were making these recipes separately, they would be separate, but wasting pans is a no-no.

2. While ingredients are boiling, mash avocado, chop onions and tomatoes, and put ranch and mayo in a bowl. Pour the chopped/mashed vegetables into said bowl with ranch/mayo.

3. WHOOSH! TIME WARP---your potato/egg/butter mixture is ready!!! Mash all together and, after this develops into a sludgy mixture, pour onto a cookie sheet. BE CAREFUL NOT TO BURN YOURSELF---remember that mixture is hot, and although it looks tasty, it's actually boiling.







4. Melt chocolate (nothing different here. Melting chocolate is a serious business.)

5. Put garlic, paprika, cilantro, chocolate, Tabasco, and sugar into a separate bowl. Mix. Set aside.

6. Take vegetable mixture and layer ontop of egg/potato/butter mixture. Let cool.

7. Shake sugar/Tabasco/paprika mixture on top of vegetables.

8. Sprinkle almonds on top. Cilantro garnish may be used in place of this.

9. Surprise your family.




2. HOW TO DRAW

A lot of people think drawing is hard. Not so with this easy tutorial! Drawing is something that's fun, easy to do, and surprisingly does not really make a lot of money. I'm going to teach you how to draw…something. It'll have to be on Paint since that's what I use for my super high tech drawings. You may want to have pencil and paper in case you can’t figure out the high-techiness that is MS Paint.


1.Make a line. Feel free to use creative license.






2.Add something to that line. I added a circle, but don’t feel pressured.



3.Add two more lines. Mine looks like a legless stick figure. I shall call him Steve.




4.Add two more lines. These are Steve’s legs. Generally my people have a little more definition, like a blob for a hand or a square for a body, but these may have to wait until lesson two.






5.Decorate. Tape to fridge.




Now that you’ve learned to cook and draw, you’ll definitely be successful! Those industries are chock full of spots for you, just yearning for your newfound talents. Just remember where you learned them from, young padawan.