This does NOT make me a bad driver. I'd like to point out I STILL am alive. Also my passengers mainly survive, although that doesn't keep them from being sassy.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJGraR2BBlTG3f8mtLjA3liNdIu_bD0yM1ZlSF5ySnxXAjKSg8tZE4Ov7Zp5qgglxShUs1ew1piHC38aXRo9a4Ln3ihIdRLxoguvmTu_7yfJCFPtxOwHb57TqjJK4Nq4n_nmNAWALCZA4/s400/driving1.jpg)
So, I'd like to take some time to celebrate all the lovely friends I've made on the road.
Driving and Why it Sucks:
Honking
You're turning right and there's a red light for two seconds and this happens:
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGw4gk7rZiY5VkpoXAroMuVl2rWrMkXpD7Ozeq_byPDVvhkTEskgL0rBNoRuYxykGb9gHsKfN_Xl5gGPKgP9ZONosyDIVq2ZqrtMtL_MxMNMNnCCD9Xd1Mxu2g3hSPw3K1aSWOaJN3BO0/s400/driving2.jpg)
Hearing a short light honk:
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkbTM31e2D8QfvMwEoS2BlruVlAiNKZbEpYEKijgkvviN55URqOV64UoMESQNOgux5E4wkYdHC2_kZERlNA2gFQRLdET3ZuTE4oT6KkvRtvfhb5mgboFTl_w_MOOpKIa-XLojkOgeJ9d4/s400/driving3.jpg)
Hearing long multiple honks:
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNIc6AxM40bElpLDyPnGSLZm4fDDZnN028T7XH6LEPZnJoQT8SvDAAABYjz74TOMJbdOD29FWRCHjUDL-ManC3Ub8goR3xIEHIjOoRrxa-3ZQnSQ-xROrYdUMC_tu-ddNUMBSv9jRyO0A/s400/driving4.jpg)
Police Cars
Once you get pulled over, you are scarred for life.
Driving in Dark:
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1rVYmgnv5zgXWhhMndb8UUcm4yyXTYXfcXZWdXPxbf7uArSRG3AKMlgS3aTDvvlJVkgfu8yWnDG8i-tTkjU03ZscneTDb3F0sQNi4GZ2nTjlnw3Q7Qjd5xi5cCB6i6Noe46nvn6nYAwg/s400/driving5.jpg)
Driving in Dark and the light behind you changes:
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivYO4vdscP99HQxkSI6s4Sg9Ia09EVPhGbEQ52BV0R9VKuZD36ClGO9hm3NkTpsLT2rtPZ9upOVtVJEicaPLmmb4407uytI09259AXLKJoCvdFhXa7QZyggEfYDJpuLNk4G-SCsd29JWo/s400/driving6.jpg)
Today I ran into this guy:
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjl9fGCCmgQsatn3rdbZzG0aZ9EJqF4jrXGCUj2D4P4duzaSu0q8xUlRtbbsIUfTQFkhUwI8pBonP2PbknwHxGpqN50ijc1oiQu3yS8BGVPBbL7Q-cZummDCO4xMn3SVc3vJUfWQE8U61I/s400/driving7.jpg)
I couldn't tell if he was a po po or if he just had serious douchetastical car bling. Seriously? Flashing tail and headlights in different colours? Who you tryin to fool, foo?
Those police cars that creep slowly behind you for miles:
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqL48a0bDEzXJLe9Ea6Sn7s-1AFgtQQ87RLp6K2OUE4kd-D9mmdBQY_rVkJjG6uJHMiw9lDQrLrhQ_BT80jHLXdIY5YSysV8jZz8ChOhDCpgHJ5saEN3dccThA_y1YLDXNa6Z0sJ8dDgM/s400/driving8.jpg)
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLMed4d5nTf4t1HrmrsgoQVrYKsqQLP2aIJkFo2oYoEaoGO083bh1iSFnER5l_RR_D7xNM0fGAjBgRHd2TG2e7Ej5AEYt3WpqlwjdXcJH5WsHWX5_5Q5KPU9cOVnOSenNH3CVU2fAdgEM/s400/driving9.jpg)
Luckily I have devised a tried-and-true method for avoiding these flicker-offers and angry fat men who are delayed getting to their destination on time by two seconds and police cars that hunker down on roadsides threateningly, like a momma caribou.
Just avoid eye contact. And DON'T ROLL DOWN THE WINDOW.
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