Driving and Why it Sucks

Counting today, four people have given me half a peace sign out their window,one's followed me and swore at me, one has followed me home to tell me not to be so suckish at life, I've had enough honks to sprinkle a birthday cake with, and several pictures taken of my bad parking jobs.

This does NOT make me a bad driver. I'd like to point out I STILL am alive. Also my passengers mainly survive, although that doesn't keep them from being sassy.





So, I'd like to take some time to celebrate all the lovely friends I've made on the road.



Driving and Why it Sucks:

Honking


You're turning right and there's a red light for two seconds and this happens:





Hearing a short light honk:





Hearing long multiple honks:





Police Cars

Once you get pulled over, you are scarred for life.

Driving in Dark:




Driving in Dark and the light behind you changes:





Today I ran into this guy:






I couldn't tell if he was a po po or if he just had serious douchetastical car bling. Seriously? Flashing tail and headlights in different colours? Who you tryin to fool, foo?

Those police cars that creep slowly behind you for miles:







Luckily I have devised a tried-and-true method for avoiding these flicker-offers and angry fat men who are delayed getting to their destination on time by two seconds and police cars that hunker down on roadsides threateningly, like a momma caribou.

Just avoid eye contact. And DON'T ROLL DOWN THE WINDOW.

Gingers

All I've ever wanted is to be a ginger and sing cutesy ukulele songs and become an internet sensation. Is that too much to ask? And adult Heelys. Also Matt Smith.

It is my personal belief that gingers are the luckiest species in the world. Seriously. Nothing ever goes wrong for those bitches. Here are some examples:

1. Ron Weasley
Gets the girl, has a famous best friend who saves the world AND is his brother in law, has a family of OTHER gingers...c'mon.





2. Katie
'Nuff said.



3. Amy Pond
Has Doctor Who as her best friend, AND Rory as her lover-man? Who created this universe of unfairness??





4. (formerly ginger) Charlie McDonnell (of Charlieissocoollike fame)
He MET Matt Smith and Arthur Darvill. Plus about a million girls would marry him on the spot.





Oh and don't even get me started on internet gingers! They seem to have a knack for getting celebrities to notice their awesome.






Meanwhile...